Islamic ways of raising children. Raising your child rightly is the first and foremost duty of the parents. To raise your kids in accordance with Islam is very important. “O you, who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones…”(Quran, 66:6). Allah Almighty has given parents the responsibility to show their children the right path as described by Allah in the Holy Quran and Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (SAW).
The best gift that we can give to our children is to raise them to be not just good Muslims but also good and kind human beings. In today’s highly competitive and incredibly busy world, with so many distractions all around us, it often gets difficult to guide your children and bring them up the way you want to. We hope that the following tips will help you on this journey and if you have any tried and tested tips of your own, we would love to hear them too.
How To Raise Your Children To Be Good Muslims?
Remember that our children are our responsibility and an Amanah from Allah that we need to focus on as a priority. Every parent wants the best for their child of course but unfortunately, our focus often shifts from the main goal of making our children God-fearing Muslims.
↓ 15 – Tarbiya, Ta’dib And Ta’lim – Educate Your Children
Tarbiya refers to a child’s religious growth. To seek closeness towards Allah by following examples of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW) should be taught. Teachings of Quran; duties, obligations and rights are necessary to be told.
Ta’dib teaches good outward manner and conduct, along with the inner conduct of self-restraint.
Ta’lim is the religious command of what to do, and what not to in Islam.
These are the most basic and necessary manners that teach us how to raise a child. Tarbiya, Ta’dib and Ta’lim, all three of them hold equal significance as they shape, grow and tame the child towards becoming a good person.
It is important that you provide your children with both worldly and religious knowledge. Here are 30 Inspiring Islamic Quotes on Education.
↓ 14 – Teach Humility To Your Kids
Humility is one of the most important virtues that Muslim parents need to develop in their child. In today’s society, parents often get inspired from other cultures and want their child to be bold, over-confident and they completely forget the importance of being humble. This in the long term leads to problems not just for the child but for the parents too. By teaching humbleness to your child, you empower them and actually give them more confidence than being bold ever can. Here are some tips on teaching humility to your kids:
- Visit old homes, orphanages, etc, so the child understands how blessed and privileged he is and that he needs to help others
- Praise your child for small things like completing his homework on time, clearing the table, helping the siblings and so on
- Praise God and remember Allah with your child. By doing zikr together and thanking Allah for everything, you’ll inspire your child to do the same
- Develop a culture of “thanks” and “giving”
↓ 13 – Teach Them To be Truthful
One of the most beautiful traits of a good Muslim is that he always tells the truth. A virtue that unfortunately is not seen in many Muslims these days. For more motivation, have a look at these 10 Most Beautiful Life Lessons from the Quran.
↓ 12 – Warn the kids About Shaitan
We often get too busy in teaching the kids about Allah, Prophet, Heaven, Hell and other topics that we completely forget to cover the topic of ‘Shaitan”. While it is often underestimated, the truth is that when you teach the kids about shaitan, you’ll teach them how shaitan works and how they can avoid him. This will empower the child and teach him to resist evil throughout his life.
↓ 11 – Confide In Your Child
Have close moments with your children so they know that they can trust you. If you share your problems with your child for example by sharing that you had a difficult day at work, when the time comes, your child will be comfortable in sharing his/her problems with you too. It is important for both mothers and fathers to have discussions with their children and give them advice. Give attention to the children and never give preference to one child over others as the Prophet too warned against this.
↓ 10 – Have Rules At Your Home
It is important to have rules in your home to make your children obedient, punctual and well-mannered. For example, your children should have a clear understanding of what sort of clothing is acceptable at your home. Instead of shouting at the child when he does something wrong or against your expectations, it is important to make your child understand the rules from a young age. This is also a good way to help the children distinguish right from wrong and good from evil.
↓ 9 –Importance Of Praying
A child should be told the importance of a prayer from a very early age. Parents should make their children start praying with them and teach them how to pray at a young age. This will bring regularity in their prayers and help them make it a habit. Make prayer a priority from a young age and at the time of prayer, leave all other tasks. InshaAllah, the child will start to follow your example too. Here’s our guide on How To Perform Salah (Prayer) With Step by Step Instructions.
↓ 8 – Following Good Role Models
Having good role models is very important as they influence what we do, and how we turn out later in life. Positive role models inspire us to become better people. As Muslims, our greatest idol should be the Holy Prophet (PBUH). We should teach our children to follow his example throughout life. Introducing children to the Prophet and Anbiya at an early age is very beneficial as that is the child’s learning age. When a kid is shown the example of good people, it will have a huge effect on him and the child will strive to be like them. Not only will it make the kid a good and pious Muslim, but it will also help him build a positive personality and teach him good conduct. There are many books sharing stories of the Holy Prophet and his companions that you can read to the child as a bedtime book and inspire him.
↓ 7 – Raise Your Child In Accordance With Their Time
Times change. You were raised according to your time period. Every new generation is born at a different time frame. The world becomes divergent, and it is quite necessary to adopt the change and try to raise your kid according to the modification. Trying to raise your child the way you were brought up and expecting them to live as you did is wrong. This will help establish a bond of trust and acceptance which is vital between a parent and his offspring.
↓ 6 – Perform An ‘Aqiqah
Aqiqah is a sunnat al mu’akkadah (a confirmed sunnat). Aqiqah is extensively performed by Muslims. It is considered a sunnah to slaughter a sheep for the baby and give out its meat to the poor. The Holy Prophet (PBUH) said: “A baby is being pledged for his aqiqah, sacrifice is made for him on the seventh day, his head is shaved, and a name is given to him.” An aqiqah is not obligatory, it is a sunnah. Therefore, there is no sin if not performed but is highly appreciated by Allah if performed.
↓ 5 – Be Loving And Give Them Attention
From birth, children require involvements and relations that indicate them they’re cherished, capable human beings who pass happiness to others. Optimistic care, responses and reactions from grown-ups help children build an image of how appreciated they are. Your child’s self-esteem shapes up over time with positive, affectionate messages from you and other significant people in his life. A strong self-image is very essential, not only for your child’s connection with others but also for his self-confidence as he learns about the world. Your child’s feelings of safety and protection come from his/her communications with you and the other individuals who care for the child. If you encourage and support your child when she’s scared, or faced with a new or unacquainted situation, she’ll feel harmless and confident. So spend time with your children and do activities together like going to the park, cooking together, doing chores like gardening together and play games together. At the end of the day, spending time with your kids is much more important than spending money on your kids.
↓ 4 – Teach Them To Follow Sunnah & Love The Prophet
There are hundreds of small things in our every day lives that if we do by following the Sunnah, we can earn great rewards. By teaching these sunnahs to your children from an early age, you can turn these into habits that they will continue to follow throughout their lives. Some examples of sunnah you can teach children from a young age are:
- Sunnah of drinking water
- Sunnah of eating and table manners
- Teach them sunnah way of greeting everyone
- Washroom/restroom manners (entering with the left foot, exiting with right, saving water, staying clean, etc). For more beautiful sunnah that you can follow yourself and teach your children too, go through our earlier post on The 10 Most Beautiful Sunnah To Follow In Daily Life
- Remember that while these may seem like small things, teaching them to your kids by explaining the reason for following them will also help the kids learn more about the Prophet Mohammad PBUH.
↓ 3 – Encourage Your Child To Be Pious & Kind
A pious and religious child is like a continued charity. It is important for parents to teach their child about religion and encourage them to follow the orders of Allah, along with sunnah and hadith of the Prophet (PBUH). Children are born pure, parents have the responsibility to guide and lead them. “When a man dies, his action discontinues from him except three things, namely, perpetual sadaqah (charity), or the knowledge by which benefit is acquired, or a pious child who prays for him.” -Sahih Muslim. This hadith enlightens us with the importance and advantage of a pious child.
↓ 2 – Stop Them From Polytheism
To tell your child that there is only one God is the first most important lesson you should teach them. A parent should teach their child to look up to them, and respect them but never to treat them equally with Allah Almighty.
↓ 1 – Worship Allah & Ask Him For Help
Parents have the concept that their child is supposed to provide for them. Throughout a child’s life, he is told that he has to provide for the parents as he grows up. Raising them with this mindset is wrong. A child should be raised with the mindset of worshipping God. Allah has promised you your provisions if you worship Him and abide by His orders.
“Do not raise your children to provide for you. Raise them to worship Allah and provisions will always come.”
Lastly, a reminder that you should never underestimate the power of dua. From the day you’re blessed with a child, keep praying to Allah for help in bringing him up as a righteous Muslim and a good human being.