What is the Islamic perspective on dowry? In simple words, Dowry is any of the property, household items, or money that parents give to the bride on her marriage either on-demand or in fear of physical or emotional blackmail that the bride might face after marriage. In today’s article, we will be reviewing in detail the concept of dowry in Islam, its disadvantages, alternatives and much more.
Important Terms:
Dowry: Belongings, money, or property given to Bride on marriage
Jointure: Haq Mehar (The money, gold, or property due on men for the bridal)
Rituals: Customs
Mohsineen: Men of good deeds
Musafiheen: Women protected under marriage
Anafqoo: To spend
Disadvantages of Dowry:
- Dowry increase spiritual diseases in society such as making people greedy or materialistic.
- When marriage becomes a financial bargain, it turns a sacred bond into a transaction and promotes the love of money rather than love and mercy between the spouses.
- Many parents are not able to fulfill such high demands as a result many families fall into debt and hardship, and brides can suffer serious stress, depression and even abuse when demands are not met.
- It lowers the standard of living.
- It also weakens the status and value of women.
- Men are going to be lazy and inefficient because they know they will just marry and become rich.
- Above all, demanding dowry or making it a condition of marriage is unjust and is rejected by scholars, as the financial duty at marriage lies on the groom through mahr. A gift freely given by parents out of love, without pressure, is a different matter and is generally permissible.
What is the Concept of Dowry in Islam?
The Dowry is a curse and woe for both the families consequently. It is not only increasing corruption in the society but also day by day it is becoming more the part of a status which is very obvious in rich Families. In contrast to poor families who have just limited income, the foremost priorities of the parents are that they want to educate their children. When their daughters reach the age of the marriage, they cannot afford a married happy life only because of the reason that they do not have much to give to in-laws. Dowry is basically impeding the spiritual and religious acts of Nikah.
History of Dowry:
The custom of dowry existed in many societies before Islam and in several cultures today, including parts of South Asia. Over time, some Muslim communities adopted it from local custom, even though it has no basis in the Quran or Sunnah.
Dowry in the light of the Holy Quran:
Finances of Marriage:
The Holy Quran has clearly explained who will be bearing the responsibility of Nikah:
Verse 1: All Alimony is on Groom
Allah said in Holy Quran,
Surat an-Nisa, Verses 4 and 24 (on mahr):
Scholars explain that, after marriage, the husband’s maintenance (nafaqah) covers the wife’s basic needs, namely:
Accommodation
Food
Furniture
Dress
The groom is also responsible for hosting the walima, which the Prophet ﷺ encouraged (“Hold a walima, even if with a single sheep,” Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim).
All these points are explaining that there is no concept of dowry in Islam. We are promoting it although we know that we should hinder this ritual.
Here are some Authentic Duas To Make Your Marriage Happier and Stronger.
Verse 2: Why the Husband Bears Financial Responsibility:
Allah said in Quran:
Surat un Nisaa: Verse 34:
Men are qawwamun (protectors and maintainers) of women, by what Allah has given one over the other and by what they spend of their wealth (Quran 4:34).
Scholars explain that this verse describes the husband’s responsibility of providing and protecting, which is why the financial burden of marriage lies on him and not on the wife’s family.
Prophet’s Muhammad Sunnah:
Our Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (P B U H) never arranged the Barat reception for his daughters but he promoted his own walima receptions. Actually, if we become sensible then at the time of Barat, the girl is leaving her own house and this occasion is the sad occasion for both the parents and daughter. We should not arrange large receptions because it is creating a burden on the parents of the girl.
According to narrations, the household items given to Fatima (may Allah be pleased with her) at her marriage were very modest, such as a sheet, a leather waterskin and a pillow, and they were bought from Ali’s (may Allah be pleased with him) own mahr funds.
Gifts for Daughters
The gift is allowed but in our culture, the girl’s family gives expensive gifts which they cannot afford. They are pressurized from in-laws basically.
Show-off:
Nowadays, families are presenting all dowry to extrovert in front of all people which is also prohibited in Islam. You should also go through these Powerful Duas to Ask Allah for Forgiveness of Sins.
What is the Alternative to Dowry?
Muslim Scholars explained that we can replace the concept of dowry.
First of all, we need to stop giving dowry to our daughters.
Also, the boys themselves should take an action to stop their parents from demanding anything from bride’s family.
Last but not least is that if we want to make our daughters and sons-in-law happy by giving presents to them, we can give them in the whole of their life except the marriage ceremony. This is the best way to get rid of the wrecked dowry.
What do Islamic Scholars Say About Dowry?
Scholars agree that maintenance of the wife is the duty of the husband, and that mahr belongs to the bride.
Moreover, many grooms neglect the rule of mahr. It is a right of the bride that should be paid, and scholars say it may be paid at the time of nikah or agreed to be deferred, but it remains a debt that must not be forgotten. Read more in our guide to haq mehr in Islam. In our culture, dowry reaches before the arrival of bridal which is, in other words, closing all doors of the security of bridal rather it is enhancing more greed in the hearts of people so inspired to care for the girl, the inlaws become more greedy.
According to Dr Zakir Naik:
IN ISLAM DOWRY (mahr) IS FOR WOMEN NOT FOR MAN..
“give women their dowries (mahr) with a good heart” – [Al Quran 04 04]
BE A MAN & SAY NO TO DOWRY
According to Mufti Menk:
Conclusion:
There are numerous examples in the Quran, Hadith, Sunnah and from the lives of the sahabas that prove that dowry and flamboyance are not Islamic concepts. In Islam, there is no concept of Dowry but only a concept of Mahar which is given to the bride as a form of financial security.
May Allah guide all Muslims to make marriage easy. (Ameen)
Frequently Asked Questions
Is dowry allowed in Islam?
Scholars reject demanding dowry or making it a condition of marriage, because Islam places the financial responsibility on the groom through mahr. A gift given freely by parents out of love, without pressure or showing off, is generally considered permissible. For your situation, ask a qualified scholar.
What is the difference between dowry and mahr?
Mahr is a right of the bride, paid by the groom (Quran 4:4). Dowry is what the bride’s family gives to the groom’s side, usually by custom or demand. Read more about haq mehr in Islam.
Can parents give gifts to their daughter at marriage?
Yes, gifts given willingly and within one’s means are not forbidden, but they should not become an expected obligation, a source of debt, or a means of showing off.
Who pays for the wedding and walima?
The walima is traditionally the responsibility of the groom. The Prophet ﷺ encouraged a simple walima. Local customs on the wedding meal differ, but Islam discourages extravagance. See also duas for a happier marriage.
What should I do if my in-laws demand dowry?
Respectfully remind them that Islam places financial responsibility on the groom, involve a trusted elder or scholar, and do not give in to pressure that causes hardship or debt.